Hentai Review: Tensei Kendo no Harem Colosseum (3 of 4)

Tensei Kendo no Harem Colosseum - Episode 3 of 4

This episode, and no other in this series, decides to begin with a text scrawl. It lasts in excess of four minutes, and composes mostly of information that we either already know, or that will be relayed to us in this very episode. Or that doesn’t matter, but you could argue that that’s all of it. Then we get about another four minutes of recap, so this 27 minute episode doesn’t give us anything relevant until about the eight-minute mark.

But, in the meantime, we do learn that Mr. Gladiator is indeed from the 21st century, and that he graduated from a third-rate college. Because the fact that you went to community college is apparently important when you’ve been sucked into some lewd Narnia bullshit. They won’t mention it again, though. At least not in this episode. We do end the recap with this great title card, though:

Actually, there’s two title cards, one after the text scrawl, and one after the recap, because why not. But only the second one has the subtitle.

We finally start, and are immediately hit with madness, right out of the gate.

I don’t want to keep harping on the baffling nature of Japanese censorship, but this actually had me confused, because I’ve only ever seen the pixelization on lewd stuff, and I thought there was something about this guy getting cut across the midsection that I didn’t understand.

The red haired girl is the sister of the blonde princess from the first episode that made them bone in front of her. Apparently, the royal family all like Blondie more than Red because Red can’t use magic, even though Blondie's a fucking degenerate. Not normal hentai degeneracy, either.

Her name is also ‘Lunahasole’. I don’t really have a joke for that, but there you have it.

Red was also the mysterious voice from the end of the last episode, though we don’t ever learn where she was supposed to be when she said that. She’s apparently discovered that their matches in the colosseum are rigged and believes this is some great dishonor. Gladiator guy claims that they’re totally good warriors anyways, even though it’s rigged, and that makes it cool. For some reason. He challenges her to a duel, and wins. She pisses her pants when he defeats her. I use the term ‘pants’ very loosely, here. This is not a very relevant plot point, but they felt the need to include it in the title card up above.

Once again, the actual sequence of events is unclear in all of this. In the opening scene where Red slices open that guy, it’s shown that gladiator guy, cat girl, and elf girl are all watching, with cat girl on his shoulders and elf girl seeming completely unperturbed by anything. Either she got over her shock from the last episode real quick, or this happened beforehand. I’d give it a 50/50 shot for either.

Then we skip to the scene of Blondie schlicking to the idea of dismemberment. Gladiator guy is banging her maid out in the hallway, while the maid exposits about how Blondie is a weirdo, but Red can’t use magic, and Red is good in combat, but only because she’s got magic armor that the maid magics up before each battle. And Red doesn't know about the armor being magic. This is mostly stuff that was covered in the text scrawl.

Then we go to a flashback of Red confronting gladiator guy and catgirl about cheating in the arena, and gladiator guy challenges her to the duel. We know it’s a flashback because it’s got a weird filter on it. Then it shows them dueling, which doesn’t have the filter. Presumably him banging the maid happens before the duel, because the implication seems she sabotaged the armor by not magicking it for her, but it’s unclear if that happens before him challenging her to a duel. Starting to see how this is hard to follow?

Anyways, the aftermath of the duel is back in the colosseum. It’s night now, whereas the initial challenge happened during the day. It’s again, unclear if the duel happened right after the challenge, and then they waited until night, or if they waited until night to have the duel, and it just ended.

And for some reason, there’s a chair in the arena. Which she turns around in without getting up.

And they say she can’t do magic.

She apologizes for doubting their combat prowess, because them being real warriors makes up for them cheating or something. I don’t know, this is a flimsy pretense. Gladiator guy says something about how he wants her to join forces and… I think help them cheat more? Then he reminds her that this is a hentai, and that he’ll need to fuck her now. He also gets a boner while talking about it. Cat girl is in this scene, but she’s only there long enough to give a reaction to him getting the boner, and then seems to fuck right off, cause she’s not there for the rest of the episode.

The fucking ensues. She’s reluctant, but cooperative, at first, but it gradually gets more rapey. There’s a lot of shouting. I usually say that you can’t really claim to know the quality of a voice actor in a language you don’t speak, but I feel confident in saying that she’s not very good. There’s also this weird situation, where he bends her over and starts playing with her tits before fucking her, but then they both start talking about him fucking her again, despite having blatantly not done so yet. I thought maybe something got cut out, but when he does put it in, she starts bleeding like she’s a virgin, which wouldn’t make sense if he’d already penetrated her. Maybe poor translation, but judging by how confusing everything else is, I think it’s unfair to assume it’s the translators.

Then, out of nowhere, Blondie just pops up like Snoop Dogg in Half-Baked.

Both girls are shocked, but then gladiator guy remembers that Blondie is a fucking weirdo degenerate, and saves things by turning to her and making sure she gets a front row to him banging out her sister. It works.

Blondie totally gets into it, and starts rubbing on both their crotches while he holds Red up and fucks her. The whole thing would be a lot hotter if the main focus wasn’t on a big mass of blurry pixels.

He finishes and puts her down, then Blondie tells her how great that was to watch. Then slaps her in the face and tells her how much she wants to watch Red get abused more. At least the character is consistent. She talks some trash, then demands gladiator guy gets with the raping. Then, for reasons never explained, Red just passes the fuck out. Blondie doesn’t seem to care, and reiterates that she ain’t gonna rape herself.

Gladiator guy doesn't approve, and takes Blondie over his knee for a spanking.

Then he rapes her. But you knew that. Red wakes up partway through and objects, but is either unable or unwilling to move. Blondie curses him and says how she’ll never forgive him. Then it ends. With five minutes left on the run time, wherein it goes into credits and the previews for the next episode (hint: she forgives him and gets into it).